Domestic violence and abuse

Domestic violence or abuse is defined as: "Any incident of threatening behaviour, violence or abuse between adults who are, or have been, in a relationship, or between family members, regardless of gender or sexuality" (Home Office 2006).

An abusive relationship doesn't have to involve violence. It can be emotional, psychological, financial or other forms of abuse as well. It's normal to feel scared, confused, ashamed, humiliated and alone. You may also feel (or be told) that you are to blame. You're not to blame for someone else's abusive behaviour towards you (even if they tell you it's your fault). Any form of abuse is a serious crime that you don't have to endure.

Alcohol or drugs misuse can obviously influence behaviour, but at the heart of abusive relationships is power and control. Abuse occurs across all levels of society. It doesn't respect age, race, religion, culture, gender or sexual orientation. It can also involve other family members, children, the elderly, and people with disabilities and/or mental health issues.

Help and advice

If you are in immediate danger you should contact the police on 999. The agencies listed have specially trained staff who you can talk to in confidence. You can use one, or as many of the agencies as you need:

• Thames Valley Police (emergency calls) 999
• Thames Valley Police non-urgent calls: 0845 8505 505
• Thames Valley Police Domestic Violence Unit: 0845 850 5505
• National Centre for Domestic Violence: 08448 044 999
• 24 hr National Domestic Violence Helpline: 0808 2000 247
• Victim Support : 0845 450 3883
• High Wycombe Citizens Advice Bureau: 08444 994 108
• Wycombe Women's Aid: Answered by the Samaritans (24hrs) 01494 432 000; during office hours 01494 461 367
• Asian Women's Helpline: 01494 446 366
• Wycombe District Council: 01494 461 000